Are you starving from emotional hunger in a relationship?
When the core emotional needs of one or more partner are not fulfill then Emotional hunger occurs. The situation can be tricky when needs of both the partners are either opposing or competing. In such a situation, one of them decides not to fulfill the need of the other one as they feel that their own essential or key need is not met. This creates the situation when both the partners are dissatisfied.
This can create a very dangerous situation if not addressed at the correct time as it creates a fertile ground for one of the partner to seek satisfaction outside the relationship. We need to understand that there are some needs which are entirely opposite between men and women. When one or more needs are not fulfill then it results in an emotional hunger. If this continues for the long time, then it leads to dissatisfaction in relationship. Therefore, it is very important to be clear what your emotional needs are and what are not being met.
1. Call for independence or connection
It is not necessary that both should have an equal desire for connection. This does not mean that your partner does not love you. Some people do not think that it is necessary to spend every moment together. They may believe in solo time, time with same-gender friends, or time to pursue their dreams. It will be a great mistake to judge your partners love on the basis of autonomy or connection. The solution of this problem is that you need to be really honest to your partner about your needs. If you have opposing needs then you need to work on this together for “win-win” solution. Do not compromise as compromises are the short-term strategy which means it can affect your relationship.
2. Importance to be openness or closeness
Not everyone in comfortable in opening up and sharing their thoughts and feelings. While the other thinks that they and their partner are the open books where every feeling and thought is shared. Some people need more emotional privacy. If you both lie under the same category here then you must find yourself very lucky. But for many couples it is an area of adjustment where there exist different preferences and habits when it comes to the spectrum of sharing vs. keeping to one emotionally. Don’t try to prove each other wrong because you both are right because you are choosing what you are comfortable with. But when you do not try to understand your partner then there is a lack of feeling.
At the very first level, you need to understand your own emotional needs or hunger. Then you must try to understand these needs of your partner too. If you do not have a productive conversation regarding this then it might turn up in a push and pull arguments where both of you will try to control the other and none of you will get satisfy. All of us have emotional hunger but we need to handle it intelligently and compassionately.